BURNERMANTM

The Original, Eco-Conscious Private-Communication Ensurer

(anonymizing “burner phone” service – patent pending)

burnerman99.store 732-633-0200 burnerman01@protonmail.com

Who Is Burner Man...

Burner Man is your personal shopper who has prepurchased you a smartphone (to do so

yourself ensures a record of the purchase at the conventional retailer, as well as the transactions’

calls and texts and 500MB of data–if you need/want longer/more service, just email for prices),

fully charges its battery (just power on to begin making calls, texts and emails,

privately/anonymously), recycles it, and obtains and retains absolutely no transactions' histories

outside of their respective dollar amounts or their equivalents–prices start at $39.95 (no personal

information whatsoever--ever!--you are assigned a random client number for every order you

place).

TO ORDER: click the BUY NOW button, above, to pay with a credit/debit card (ideally a

prepaid one whose purchase is not connectable to yourself–to best ensure absolute privacy) (the

payment portal will prompt you for your delivery info), or order by phone: (732) 633-0200

1) Personal Shopping: By pre-purchasing a smartphone for you from point-of-sale distributors,

Burner Man is the impenetrable barrier between yourself and anyone who should ever wish to

link the smartphone's sale to yourself, whether that link be attempted to be made by credit/debit

card data or a distributor's security monitoring (video recordings, persons who witness sales etc.)

or otherwise (Burner Man only ever exercises his First Amendment Free-Speech Right, as it

relates to yourself and any smartphone he has pre-purchased for you, in the form of

silence--guaranteed!; besides, he spent his formative years voraciously imbibing to such a degree

as to render him categorically incapable of forming memories of ephemeral interactions with

others :)).

2) Private-Communication Smartphone Optimizing: By stripping out and/or disabling all of a

(by virtue of their being given a new use-case in the Burner Man ecosystem; after its life therein

being properly recycled), and that you are guaranteed the ability to convey your private-speech

via any accessible WiFi signal (ideally, one un-affiliatable with yourself--see Private-usage

Recommendations) for as long as you choose to keep the phone, both before and after any of the

its mobile data runs out.

3) Smartphone Accounts' and Service Setting-up and Charging: By setting up all of the accounts

within the smartphone--whose respective information for their temporary usage by yourself are

only ever provided to yourself (on a separate paper accompanying smartphone--which, by the

way, Burner Man hereby guarantees you that it never keeps, or even makes, a copy of)(Note: It is

that temporary usage that contributes heavily to the privateness of your communication--the

never country-specific service.)

4) Smartphone Recycling: By providing your smartphone to you in a reusable, self-addressed

box with prepaid postage for you to mail your smartphone back to him when you're done with it,

and, by complying with all relative recycling laws and regulations, Burner Man guarantees your

smartphone's minimal impact on the environment, and affords you the peace of mind that comes

long-after-support use cases for phones whose constituent parts would most likely find their

ways into the regular trash instead of Burner Man's promised proper recycling once their

performance spectrum is FULLY exhausted, not after some inebriant drops them :).)

5) Obtaining and Retaining No Personal Information: By logging only the dollar amount(s) (or

their equivalent(s)) of your transaction(s) with him and immediately deleting and trash-emptying

dump the trash of immediately upon his reception of all information conveyed to him through

them.)

6) Anonymized Payment: By accepting MONERO, the world’s most trusted and accepted

actually-anonymous payment method, with transaction fees far lower than current standards (just

$0.01-$0.05 USD), Burner Man offers yet another, added layer of privacy protection–for though

Burner Man’s phone anonymizing process is more than sufficient to ensure your communications

made over the devices he prepares for you are completely private (guaranteed if you follow

usage recommendations), by offering the ability to pay with MONERO he is adding another

impenetrable layer to your communications’ anonymity.

phone or internet-connecting device or on any account that can be directly or indirectly

associated with yourself (and if you must contact such a person with your Burner

Man-provided phone, be certain such persons are on a device from which they

themselves have secured from Burner Man);

yourself;

better (even after the data that comes with your phone is used up, it can still be used over

your choice--1, 2, or 4 weeks).

well as by countless other private and public entities that purchase it from them, even the

fact that a user is accessing the internet through a virtual private network (VPN).

and activities on databases accessible by private and public entities (see

and https://cyberwaters.com/can-police-track-vpn-users-and-activity/ , inter alia).

cards nor using the TORR network's browser (which some internet service providers will

not even allow you to access) can afford us private communications or anonymizable

research--see https://www.inthelibrarywiththeleadpipe.org/2019/ice-surveillance/ and

iphones

inalienable Right to private communications and anonymity( see

email address the purchaser accompanies the recycled phone with will receive 10% off of

their next phone from Burner Man (one recycled phone = 10% off one burner phone),